Pop Quiz by Dennis Cardwell
1.   What is your name?	Dennis Cardwell
2.   How old are you?	51
3.   Where do you live?	Crockett, California
4.   What do you do for a living?	Teacher, 7th grade English
5.   Do you drive?	Yep, a hideous green Geo Metro with 150,000 miles on the odometer. It's my third Geo Metro. The first two lasted 200,000 each. I still get over 40 MPG out this little 3 cylinder disposable vehicle.
6.   What do you do for joy?	Try a Little Tenderness
7.   What is your pet peeve?   And how much does it weigh?  Does it sleep by the door?  Is it housebroken?	Interruptions. I feel compelled to complete what I begin. Even if I have begun to relax in a comfy chair, I want to stay there until I feel I have been there and done that long enough. I value solitude. Being alone and being lonely are not synonomous.
8.   Do you write, paint or play?  All at the same time?  (While juggling a dozen eggs and riding a unicycle?)	I write, yes, sporadically. A few good poems, but more really bad ones. Very short stories, vignettes, voice experiments, character sketches. I play records and cd's well enough to have a rather exalted opinion of my own talent. In the sense of random, joyous activity, I "play" more than most adults, I think, because I'm around kids all day. It's fun. I like it.
9.   Who is the most impressive character you've ever met?	Lyle Vance, Lightnin' Hopkins, Motoko J. Rich, Billy Joe Shaver, my son (Mitch). Hmm, I'll bet I could list a few more...
10.   Have you ever read, acted, performed, thrown up, etc. in public?	I read my poetry in coffee houses pretty often in the mid-70's. Since then I have read almost daily to my classes, usually the work of others, but often my own as well. I've rehearsed plays, but never been cast in one that actually made it to the stage. I've sung in public, but not for pay. I still sing in the echoing corridors at school. I love doowop accapella. I love to sing Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas" but I try to avoid it except during the appropriate season. Two favorites in my repertoire are by Jack Scott, "What in the World's Come Over You?" and "The Way I Walk". And I have thrown up while punk in drublic on many occasions.
11.  What piece of literature or art moved your soul to ecstatic waves of bliss?	Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment, Piece of My Heart (Janis Joplin), Ballad of a Thin Man, Dali's Persistence of Memory, Howl, On The Road, The Dharma Bums, Lorraine Ellison's "Stay With Me", Desperadoes Waitin' for a Train, Otis Redding, Grapes of Wrath (film), The Big Sleep, so much more.
12.  What was the first thing you ever encountered that made you realise that art is important?	My grandmother's paintings which hung in our house from my earliest recollection. They were important to me long before I realized the amount of effort and talent it takes to produce a work of art.
13.  Would you consider yourself an artist?  A good one?  Why or why not?	I'm certainly not an artist because I lack so many things: skill, motivation, ambition, etc. I like to think that I have a certain style and some potential, but it seems to be coming to nothing at this stage of the game. That's alright, I guess. If artists are pitchers, I guess I'm a catcher. (Replies with Freudian reference to this statement will be deleted.)
14.  What are your favorite things that have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything else?	Jimmie Rodgers, Texas, Mrs. Doty, good ale, Guinness, BBQ, breaded cauliflower, dry bone-hard oak and madrone to cut split and stack for the woodshed, hot sunny summer afternoons, big weather, time, solitude, the warmth of friendly companions, pie, cold milk, babies, fleshy erotic afternoons in bed with my lover, unexpected mail from old friends, synchronicity, early morning coffee, crystal clarity, impure thoughts, kindness.
15.  What are your favorite things that have ABSOLUTELY everything to do with everything else?	As above.
16.  What's the meaning of life?	All you can eat. Take all you want, but eat all you take. Tip generously.
17.  Why?	Because I never lie and I'm always right.
18.  True or false: the Three Stooges represent the apex of American cultural achievement.	False...Marx Brothers...Hail, Freedonia!
19.  True or False: Shemp was funnier than the original Curly.	False...Groucho, Chico, and Harpo were funnier than Gummo and Zeppo.
20.  Who's da man?	John Shaft.