AND, in what seemed like an instant
She left me
She left me -- Just picked up and went
Gone to the other side of insanity
Sanity O Sanity where for art tho sanity?!
Where people in glass houses
don't throw stones
At their typical neighbors
from inside the sincere virtues
of suburbia

NO MORE Slyvia Plath like trips of theory
In midnight gorges on the eternal soul of unhappiness
And all night honkey mindful jazz trips in the village
When the clock stops
ticks and tock
and rocks me out
Where the fine muscians breath breathes like a dream
One drawn out potent beautiful
BREATH man
DREAM!
BREATHE!
Like six hours worth of new years parties
When the countdown hits zero
and everyone cheers
And dances
Love and lust in the air and we get some booze
And drink like thirsty oxen on the old oregon trail
DRINK man
DRINK!
Drink like the old cowards of the Spanish American war
A war I've never seen
No war
No war
Mamma I don't want no war

She's gone
Gone
Going
Gone

MY baby left me
when I couldn't meet the demands
Of a healthy
Static relationship
Where we'd take meaningful walks
And talk the talk about bullshit high class new york society
And go out to fancy dinners in winter
Walking and smiling to the front doorman
Who'd take our coats
While blowing romantic mouth heat on our frostbitten hands
And leave footprints in the snow
Like a signature that will fade
Nothing is permenant
Everything fades
BUDDHA taught me that!
"Let's have a nice dinner" she would say to me
And there I go commenting on how doable the waiter's ass seems
While plunging my fork into overpriced lettuce
sipping tasteless italian wine
While the muscians come round
to serenade my beautiful gal
in her overpriced dress
that my wages helped pay for
THAT'S NOT MUSIC
I curse and spit on the floor
And she stays motionless and stunned
Her beautiful undersized belly sick
And vomitous
With the thought of my ethics
My ways
My mind racing
but happy at the thought
that soon I'll be home in my tiny apartment
sitting in the shapeless corner
with a shopping bag on my head
twitching nervously
and going on and on about the downfall of communism
and the satification suicide wouldn't bring

MY baby left me because I can't stay sane

I can't stay sane enough to concentrate on school
I can't stay sane enough to hold a nine to five job
I can't stay sane enough to keep my parents from worrying their lawyers about
the unwritten will
I can't stay sane enough to admit to myself that I've never had a girlfriend

And this poem Is nothing But a sick sadistic fantasy