i woke up in i.c.u.
and i saw u behind the glass
you look at me look back at you
then i noticed i was black and blue

"we had to protect you from yourself"

then i noticed i was tied to the bed

then i noticed i had an empty head.

oh, damned!
lost track of myself again-

prozacked
bushwhacked
not very tightly wrapped,
all too true

but what the hell had i done
this time?
my life is much like
walking point in 'nam
where wandering attention
leads to bloody mayhem
shrieking out

i only remember the pounding at the door
outside the window, flashing lights
refusing to open the door,
until they shouted they were armed with an axe.

what had i done this time??
lost track of myself, it seems
threw a fatal party but ignored me
someone else called for help
i didn't throw the party i didn't beg for help
again and again i ignore myself.
an old trick
learned from
mom and dad, the pros:

they never saw my pain
in the '60s cocktails
of sex&drugs&rockandroll
i was born too early or too late,
or was left, a changeling
at the gate
to hell-
gee mom and dad
you sure were swell

i never was a sweet sixteen
my parents didn't notice.
i totaled 3 cars by seventeen
my parents never noticed

trained from an even earlier age
how easily my attention can stray
how easily i slip out of my mind
and how walking point has its dangerous
thrill,

i don't know how to get off that edge,
that oh so attractive ledge
the giddiness of psychic vertigo,
still walking point and ignoring myself

i still never wear my seat belt
even while walking....